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I'm rich.

At least I am according to my emails last week.

I am owed:

  • $2 million from an unnamed individual for "charity, less privileged peoples orphanages work"

  • $5 million from a cancer patient for "charity/my dying wish"

  • $27.9 million from the United Bank of Africa, if I give them my name/address/telephone number

  • $3.2 million from a 68-year-old woman with cancer. The money is "to help the poor, needy, and less privileged among your congregations/society. give attention to my request for propagating the kingdom massage."

  • $5 million from the Ministry of Finance, Internal Revenue Service of the United States (IRS). I only need to provide my name, address, sex/age, occupation, phone/fax, and next of kin.

  • $4.5 million from an unidentified individual, but I need to provide $159 to receive it. (Processing fee?)

  • $2 million from an unnamed person who has named me as a beneficiary.

There were some less specific offers such as the 17-year-old who inherited a fortune, but needs to be adopted in order to receive it; the security agent with a financial institution who has the "secret security information on the reason behind my ability to receive my outstanding fund;" and the deputy governor of the Financial Systems Stability Directorate who "overhead the director collaborating" with others on how to divert my funds to their gain.

Clearly I am blessed with riches.

Not the financial riches promised to me by those seeking to scam me.

I am blessed with:

…the riches of relationships with family and friends.

…the riches of faith, and a church that supports and grows that faith.

…the riches of conversation with others.

…the riches of time to enjoy the things I enjoy doing.

Ignore your email and enjoy your riches.

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:14-19)

- Ann Iona Warner